There is a crisis at work. A situation I have not experienced before. Our dean, who is my direct supervisor, has decided to step aside in times of turmoil. Reason for this were different reports that indicated issues with staff. I am familiar with the challenges as outlined in the report. I am trying to figure out what this means to me, and what does this asks of me.
Looking back at my previous experiences, I can recall several instances where I left my job instantly. The first situation was easy. I was working at a supermarket and when I obtained a job selling outdoor- and military gear I left within a day. This situation repeated itself in different scenario’s. To leave when you feel elsewhere is better is a logic decision. Another situation I can vividly recall is that I stepped out twice because I did not support management. Once while working abroad with lousy working conditions. And once I stepped out when a friend got fired. I was in my twenties when I made those decisions. The older I get the more I feel connected, responsible, and it seems more difficult to make these decisions.
The departure of our dean has generated a sense of falling short for me personally. I’m questioning whether I provided enough support or voiced my concerns explicitly enough. I recognize my fear of not being good enough creeping in. However, when I reflect on my own decisions to leave previous jobs, I realize that it may not have that much to do with me. Our dean obtained a position that better suited him. I would probably have done the same in his position. It’s important for me to frame this situation in a way that empowers me to take action.
At the same time our institute is still in turmoil. There are serious concerns about finances, positions and jobs. It’s easy to stand on the top of a mountain, but our time now is about how to get out of the valley. Together. I’m grateful to be in a position where I can offer support and contribute to the resolution of the issues at hand. I believe that improving relationships is essential to finding solutions and moving forward. My next step is to evaluate my relations and seek ways to improve them.